Soft Lightning
by Bradamante13
Summary: Hundreds of years before the Lioness is born, a girl learns that Fate's ruling is not always fair, and gives up the only thing she ever wanted for herself: her life.
1. Prolouge: A Sword

A sword you see me. Maybe I once was, but I am not anymore. A sword is a killing thing, a cold, perfect container of beautiful death. I am no longer death. I am leaving your world now, and glad of it; my destiny in your world was to kill, even before I was put in this sword, and I have grown sick of it, just as before. It is good to be free of killing.   
  
  
  
You are confused now. I see it in your face. You wish to know who I am. I have been called many names-- Death-Bringer, Chaos-Killer, God Fighter. I am not fond of those names, and you would know none of them, just as you would not know the name Kaela, or Lightning.   
  
Oh? Lightning you recognize? Then you know of the Lady Knight, the Lioness, the prophisised one that I gave my life for. And you are confused again. Yes, I gave my life for the Lioness, so that she might fufill her destiny and stop the Dark Sorcerer from destroying the Earth. I have never regretted it.   
  
  
  
It was hard, though. Giving up my soul and my peace in the Dark God's realm to guard her. The Goddess asked much of me, and giving up everything for someone who would never know me as I truly am took more strength than I knew I had.   
  
  
  
But I have done my duty, and now I may rest in the land of the dead. And do not misunderstand-- I am grateful. But my story needs to be heard first.   
  
  
  
And you are the one to hear it.   
  
Author's Note: Hello! Thank you for taking a chance on reading my story. Twill be better next chapter, swear by Tammy. And the next chapter will be out soon. I hope. This is the third story I've promised next chapter will be out soon. But I think this one will. Unlike the others, I don't have writer's block on this one. So.....yeah. I go now. Bye bye. REVIEW!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Market Day

Soft Lighting   
Chapter One  
  
*I am a warrior, a leader of armies. The enemy would soon be upon us. We would not withstand it. The army was of Chaos's minions themselves, with Uusoae and her shadow-consort at their head.   
  
I shiver. An army of mortals against demons of skeletons and darkness. We would be butchered. Our weapons of steel could never equal swords made of the same stuff as Slaughter herself.   
  
But what could I do? I *had* to fight Uusoae; it was my destiny. The only way to stop the destruction of the mortal realms was to send the innocent, brave soldiers behind me to certain death.   
  
I bow my head and whisper a prayer for all those to die today. There is nothing I can do for them, except pray.   
  
I can see Chaos-- in all her writhing, shifting horror-- ahead of me. I lift my sword-- blessed by the Goddess and Mithros-- above my head, and--*  
  
  
  
I woke up suddenly, sweating despite the chilly air. It was the third time this month I had had the nightmare; always the same, always advancing a little farther into the inevitable battle. The next time I had it, I might actually be forced to kill someone. Killing scared me, even in my dreams.   
  
I looked out the window. The Morning Star, the mark of Shakith, the Seer-Goddess, was shining brightly in the East. Dawn would soon come. There was no point in sleeping again. I wouldn't be able to anyway. Instead I sat at the window, and pondered what message the Dream God was giving me.   
  
~~~~  
  
At dawn I dressed in my normal attire, the green skirt, pale blue shirt, and white overrobe of a Priestess of the Great Mother Goddess. I pinned back my long, thick brown hair and put the silver circlet that symbolized my rank as a newer priestess over my forehead, just above the earthy brown eyes I prided myself on. It was a market day, one of the few that I didn't have guard duty, and my best friend, Olorun, had a free day, a rare treat. We would spend the day wandering and talking, just being happy to be together. I had been looking forward to it for weeks.   
  
I moved out of my small, neat room into the hallway that connected the priestess's rooms with the Great Temple in Jhuniska, the largest and prettiest city of the Reiln. I prided myself on the fact that I was a Jhuniskan and could call this wonderful place my home. Jhuniska was the envy of all the world, even the places my people had left to build a new home.   
  
Walking through the Temple, past the praying women, I marveled at the fact that this temple had been built centuries ago. No one who did not know my people's fear of aging would see it. The Temple looked as though it had been built yesterday.   
  
As I moved out the doorway, blinking in the sudden sunlight, I looked down the long, steep hill to the market. It was so wonderful to be free to leave the temple grounds, after being confined to them during my years as a novice priestess. I had only had two free market days before this, and I was looking forward to my third.   
  
I waved at one of the guards on duty, my friend Uyne. She and I had become novices in the same month, and we were close, as is inevitable for two who went through the same pain together. She and I had made up a secret hand language during our Year of Silence, and we had practiced weaponry together when no one else would help us. She was a pretty girl, with dark hair and shining green eyes, and much braver than I could ever be. She had no qualms with killing. It was amazing how different we were, and yet how alike. She and I both knew that we would never be what we wish to become-- she wished she was a Knyht, and I wished I were a wenmarn, a married woman in charge of a home. But both our parents chose us to be priestesses instead, and we did not contest our parents' wishes.   
  
Not wishing to think about my lost dream that refused to die any longer, I stopped at the begining of the long road that led from the temples on the hill to the main part of the city. The view was spectacular, with the shining river dividing the city in half. The early sun glinted off the white-washed buildings, the green plants native to this land providing a colorful contrast. I could see women and men in bright clothing wandering the market place, and children playing happily under the brilliant blue sky above. I leaned my head back, letting my eyes close as I felt the warm spring sun kiss my face.   
  
"Kaela!" I heard a shout from the bottom of the hill. I snapped my head back down, and grinned as I saw Olorun waiting for me. She waved happily, the sun in her gold curls visible from even here. I waved back, and ran down the hill to begin a day of carefree wandering and spring's promises.   
  
How wonderful it was to be alive!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"How goes training?" I asked as I nibbled on the sesame roll I had bought from a street vender. We were looking at the different players's shows first, something we could do with sticky hands. At the moment we were listening to the woes of Akanon, the lover of Guinghaine, the priestess who killed herself rather than obey her parents and become a virgin priestess of Shakith, giving up any hope of seeing her sweetheart again. I had asked the question to drive the thought that our plights were much alike from my head.   
  
Olorun sighed. "Hard as ever. I'm starting to wish I had joined the Guard instead of becoming a Knyht."  
  
"At least you had the choice," I remarked bitterly, thinking of poor Uyne and the sobs she tried to stifle at night.   
  
"Oh, Kaela," she said, her voice exasperated, "you know I didn't mean it that way."   
  
I tried to smile. "I know you didn't, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Tell me, what's this I've heard about you and that Guard boy?" I pretended to pout. "I shouldn't have to hear details of my best friend's love life from gossiping servants, you know."  
  
I had trouble keeping from laughing at the shade of red Olorun turned. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."   
  
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come now, Olorun. You can tell me. I'm not going to tell Lady Renall about any lovers you might take."  
  
"You would even CONSIDER it?!" she yelled, outraged in her embarrassment.   
  
A boy nearby told us to hush. "Of course I would," I whispered with a wicked grin, basking in her uneasiness. "That's why you shouldn't trust me."   
  
She sighed, completely frustrated (which had been my goal, of course). "Come on. Let's go look at swords. This show is too depressing."  
  
We walked through the streets, stopping now and again to run our hands over the bright cloth merchants sold, or to admire the texture of the pieces of glass in the shops. I tried to look everywhere at once, take in all the colors around me and save them in the back of my mind for the next rainstorm. I even bought a small glass suncatcher with the little money I had brought with me, a beautiful image of a red rose in front of a blue sky. I don't think I ever was happier with Olorun than that day at the market place.   
  
"How's Unye?" She asked suddenly, looking scrutinizingly at a piece of crimson cloth.   
  
"Miserable as ever. But I think she's better since she got permantely appointed to Temple Guard. It's the closest to being a Knyht she'll get."  
  
"Well, it's better than nothing, I guess. And how're you doing?"  
  
I sighed. "I'm not sure. I guess I'm happy at the temple--the Head Priestess thinks I might replace her someday-- but I still wish I were a wenmarn."  
  
"Dreams won't die, eh?"  
  
"No. And neither will that stupid nightmare I keep having."  
"The one about the battle?"  
  
I nodded.   
  
"It'll go eventually. I'm su--what's that crowd?"  
  
We walked toward the gathering and elbowed our way to the front. A ragged looking man was standing on an upturned barrel there, shouting, "The Gods have betrayed us! They fear us! We are stronger than they will ever be! We will defeat them and become gods ourselves!"   
  
He looked down and saw me, with my priestess's attire. "Traitor!" he screamed vehemently, glaring at me like I had uttered a disgusting swearword. "Parsite of the Reiln, servent of false gods! Ye shall be punished in the farthest reaches of the world!"   
  
"Eh, shut your trap, you maniac." A protective arm went around my shoulder. "If anyone here's a servant of false gods, it's you, with your heresies. You should be ashamed of calling a priestess of the Goddess a traitor. If I were you, I'd beg her not to tell the Goddess to destroy you. Come on, Kaela, you shouldn't be hanging around this crowd. They're insane, all of them."  
  
My defender led me through the crowd till we were a block or so away, out of sight of the maniac. I kept my eyes down and added to the silence between us, until he said, in a laughing tone, "And why, Kaela, haven't you spoken to me lately? I miss your insight."  
  
I looked and saw green eyes with enough laughter in them to keep me smiling for weeks. "Jerin!" I said happily, hugging my old friend.   
  
"Took you a minute, didn't it?"  
  
"Oh, Jerin! You blockhead! Talk to me before I box your ears!"   
  
"Threats, is it? Temper, temper darling. Come on in here, where we aren't stared at," he said, directing this comment at a little boy who was looking at us with grimace on his face. We went into a nearby tavern, The Wise Fool, and sat down to catch up for a few minutes. Jerin and Olorun were talking about differences between the gods-given duties of Knyhts and Guards, leaving me completely out of the conversation. I looked at my childhood friend half in a dream, and realized that I knew almost nothing about him now. He was an apprentice mage, and had dreams of being a sorcerer-healer, but I had forgotten much else about him. *And to think we used to have no secrets,* I thought unhappily. I half-smiled. *Well, one secret. But I couldn't very well tell him I was in love with him, could I?*   
  
It wasn't a hard thing to do; he and I had been friends since childhood. And though he was a bit book-bound, he was handsome, with dark brown hair and green eyes.   
  
"Tell me, Kaela, what's in that pretty head of yours now? It seems to be a happy thought," Jerin said, his smile lighting up the room like the midday sun.   
  
I smiled back. "Just thinking about how insane that man was. It's rather amusing."  
  
He shook his head and looked down into his mug. "Insane is the only word to describe people like that. Heretics who think we're getting stronger than the gods themselves.... it's blasphemy, every word of it. But--forgive me for saying so, Kaela-- there is a bit of truth to it. We have the power to stop aging and stave off death himself. And the priests of Mithros and priestesses of Shakith are saying....disturbing things."  
  
"Like what?" I asked, wondering why I hadn't heard of this before.   
  
"The priests seem to think that Chaos has freed herself from the prison the Gods made for her. And the seers of Shakith are seeing images of the Gods raining fire down on the Reiln to destroy them." He shuddered. "I got to see one of the dreams one had through a spell. I've had nightmares about it for weeks."  
  
"But--what evidence do they have?" Olorun asked, frightened. "They can't actually think that---"  
  
"The war in the south, Olorun. What can explain that but Chaos coming back? And what about those new creatures that have been appearing, the ones that feed off of the Reiln? Like the--what are they called?--Stormwings, that desecrate the bodies of the dead, and the groffins, lies can't be told around them. I don't know much about this sort of thing, but if you ask me, those creatures were created to keep us in check."  
  
"But that can't be--"  
  
"They prey on humans, Olorun. There's never been that kind of creature, not in our history in the lands below or above the Inland Sea. And they come about just as there's talk of overthrowing the gods. I don't think that it's coincidence."   
  
"The Three Sorrows are running rampant as never before," I said quietly, thinking about the slaughter in the southern war, the illness in the towns along the Eastern River, the starvation in the north, the result of a poor summer of crops and a long, hard winter. "The older priestesses are worried. I can tell. Uyne's worried, she has family along the Eastern River."  
  
Jerin nodded. "And it's not like we can do anything to stop it." He shook his head. "The power to stop death, and yet we are useless in the face of war." He looked into his mug morosely. I made the sign against evil.   
  
Jerin left a few minutes later, saying he had to get back to his studies. I promised I would go to Sorcerer's Mount to see him in a few days. Olorun and I continued browsing in subdued silence, until she cracked a joke about some woman's hair that had us both bent double with laughter.   
  
An hour or so later, we were looking at jewelry in a corner stall. I noticed a strange looking necklace, a chain with a large circular purple stone at the bottom. For some reason, I couldn't stop looking at it.   
  
A minute or so later I got the vender's attention and pointed at the necklace, asking, "What metal is this?"   
  
"Tis copper, lady. And amethyst." He went back to smoothing a piece of jade.  
  
"And odd combination," I murmered, picking up the necklace and holding it against my neck. My father had been a jeweler, and I knew a little of the craft.   
  
The seller shook his head. "Nay, lady. Copper is the color of earth, good for holding nuture-magic. And amethyst is the stone of mankind."  
  
"Nature and human together, in harmony," Olorun demurred, looking carefully at the necklace.  
  
"My, Kaela Silverstai, how nice it is to see you again," a slimy voice muttered in my ear. I turned quickly to find a tall youth who would be handsome if he weren't smiling a greasy smile that made me want to punch something. "After all the time I haven't seen you, I would almost be ready to say you were trying to avoid me."  
  
"And that would be wrong to say, Nikali Beartamesta, because I was suceeding until today." Quiet and peace-loving I was, but I could bite when I wished to. And right then, I really, really wished to.   
Nikali ignored my comment. "I was wondering if the rumors I've heard are true, my dear, and that you really haven't taken a lover." That same greasy smile reappeared. "you know, Kaela, you are not some chaste priestess of Shakith. It wouldn't be frowned upon if you had a sweetheart."  
  
I took a deep breath. "The status of my love life is no concern of yours, Mr. Beartamesta, and it never will be."  
  
"Unless, of course, I were to be your lover."  
  
I smiled serenly. "It will never be any concern of yours."  
  
He growled at me, and raised his hand as if to slap me, but I said, quickly as the words would leave my mouth, "If I were you, I would think before I harmed a priestess. After all, my dear friend Uyne is on guard duty right now."  
  
He glared at me for a moment, then turned and walked away.   
  
I turned back to the stand to find Olorun and the seller staring at me.   
  
"What?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "He's a bastard who deserves what I gave him."  
  
"I didn't know you could talk like that," Olorun said, awe in her low, boyish voice. "You usually talk with a tongue of crystal, and I've never heard a harsh word from your mouth."  
  
"Oh, *don't* turn poet on me. He just brings out the worst in me." I shuddered. "To think we were betrothed---"  
  
"Oh, I forgot about that," she whispered, wincing. "That was the only reason you agreed to go to the convent, isn't it?"  
  
"Aye. Not for him, I'd still be trying to be a wenmarn." I turned back to the shopkeeper, who immediately busied himself swtting his wares in order. "How much is this?" I asked, holding up the necklace.  
  
He shook his head. "For you, lady, free."  
  
I shook my head. "No, come on, how much is it?"  
  
"That boy had been scaring away my customers all day, staring at the ladies and making them afraid. Just for getting rid of him, you should take it."  
  
I held out my money. "But--"  
  
He closed my hand over my coins. "Lady, I am an old man, and I know a little of magic. A child like you has the Goddess's hand on you. It's as clear as your hatred of him." He nodded at Nikali's retreating back. "Take it, and pray for me in your temple, priestess. Let that be your payment."   
  
Shocked at his remark about the Goddess's hand on me, I nodded and turned away, Olorun behind me.   
  
"Well," she said a few minutes later, as we walked toward the river, "that was an experience."  
  
I nodded dumbly, staring at the necklace in my hand.   
  
"You might want to put that on before you drop it."  
  
"Oh. Right." I put the copper chain around my neck and closed the clasp. The amethyst, large enough that one would expect it to weigh heavy, fell lightly onto my chest, and when it touched my skin, I forgot all about the old man's words, and I didn't think of them again, at least not in this sweet life.   
  
"Olorun!" I turned to see a handsome, dark-haired man in the uniform of the Royal Guard moving towards my friend.   
  
"Rayenth!" Olorun ran forward into his outstretched arms. He picked her up-- not hard, considering her unnatural petite body. Most of the Reiln are tall and graceful, with darker hair and olive skin; my mother had often told me I was a perfect example. Olorun, though, had blonde curls she kept cut short, sky blue eyes, and rosy lips and cheeks. She was short and stout, moving surely, but without any grace. But, I reflected when she smiled at the man I presumed to be her sweetheart, beautiful all the same, and the exotic form of her looks made that beauty stand out even more.   
  
"Why haven't I seen you?" he asked her, a fake pout in his voice.  
  
I looked away from what I assumed was a personal conversation, and looked at the children playing in the river. It wasn't deep, rather shallow, until a person got out to the middle, where it was deep enough to drown, and and the currents weren't bad, even in spring, when the snow melted and joined the river to be carried out to the Green Ocean with the rest of the run off. How amazing, I thought, to think that this river carries all the snow from the middle of the country to here to the Port. Some of this water might even be from the north, carrying the ashes of those dead from starvation, and out to join the water that washed the blood clean from the swords of the south and the infected water of the eastern edge of civilization to create a play place for children who had no idea of what they danced in--  
  
*And I saw myself, in the river's shallows, in armor, holding a dying woman's body so the cold, icy river ran over her metal-clothed skin and washed away the blood that covered her armor.  
  
"No," the dream-me whispered, tears on her face.  
  
"Kaela, I'm not going to last--I'll die slowly, and I'd rather die on your sword than on some Chaos-beings." She turned her head, and I saw with a chill that it was Olorun, her beautiful, living eyes clouding with the Dark God's breath.   
  
"No! I won't kill you!"  
  
"Just end my suffering." The dream-me shook her head, and I saw tears in the dream-Olorun's eyes. "Please, Kaela, I--I don't want Rayenth to see me like this--just do me--one last favor, please."  
  
The dream-me shook her head, and dream-Olorun said, quietly, "Please."  
  
The dream-me sobbed, and picked up a sword on the river bed beside her, gripped it in both hands, lifted it up, and--*  
  
"Kaela!" Olorun yelled, grabbing my shoulder and pulling me back. "What are you doing? What's wrong with you?"  
  
I looked down, to find myself up to my chest in water, Olorun swimming beside me and pulling me back.  
  
I looked at her and back at my now wet clothes. "You--you're alive?"  
  
"Yes! Of course I am, I just stopped to talk to Rayenth--"  
  
I pulled her into my arms, and hugged her so tightly she gasped for breath.   
  
"Let--go!" she gasped, and I reluctantly let her go. "What are you doing out here, get back to the shore before you catch something! Now!"   
  
She pestered me about why I had gone into the river, but I never answered her, because I didn't know.   
But that changed at Beltane. Everything did. 


	3. Storm and Sword

The day before Beltane is a busy one for the priestesses. First, we have to clean the Temple (never, ever fun, especially since the soap we use to keep everything new-looking rubs my hands to bloody shreds). Then there's setting up the bonfires for the evening, preparing the priestess chosen to represent the Goddess as Maiden, the sacrifices of herbs, and on top of it all, more women than usual coming for worship and prayer. I can tell you first hand, it's sheer insanity. And I love it more than any time of the year.   
  
Since I had seen Jerin in the market place a month before, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I got my wrist swatted more than once for missing a spot when I was cleaning dishes. Finally, Uyne had asked me what was wrong with me.  
  
"I--don't know if I can say," I had sputtered, not sure what to do.  
  
"It's about a man, I know just by looking at you, so just tell me, for Shakith's sake. This is getting crazier than a feast at Midwinter." She hauled a kettle into her arms and scrubbed.  
  
I had been shocked that she could guess so easily what was troubling me. I hadn't realized that we were close enough to be able to do that. But I suppose we were.   
  
After much prodding, I relented.   
  
"This boy I've known since I was little, I haven't seen him for years and then I saw him at the market and I've been in love with him since I was five--"  
  
Uyne had interrupted, in a disgusted voice, "Is that all?"  
  
"What d'you mean, is that all? This is a huge problem!"  
  
She had rolled her eyes and glared at me. "It is not. Just tell him you love him, it's that simple!"  
  
"But when? He's a sorcerer in training and I won't get free time till the mountains fall, what will Beltane coming up--"  
  
"That's perfect! He's got to be going to the bonfires on Beltane Eve, everyone does; tell him then! And then, if he doesn't like you back, you can just find someone else to keep you company, and if he does..." She smirked in a knowing way.  
  
I had picked up the pot I was scrubbing menacingly and said, "Oh, don't you start with me, Miss-I've-had-two-lovers-hahaha!"  
  
"Well, I'm doing better than you, at least! Honestly, Kaela, if you don't hurry up you'll be chosen to represent the Goddess on Beltane next year and get stuck with some ugly priest of Mithros!"   
  
"I will not. The Head-Priestess wouldn't do that to me."  
  
"You'll get stuck with old Master Hammas!" she taunted.  
  
"Ooh, stop, you're making me sick!" I pretented to vomit into the pot in front of me.   
  
"Kaela loves Master Haaaa--muuuus, Kaela loves Master Haaaa--muuus!" Uyne chanted over and over, until I tackled her and "accidently" hit her over the head with a rather large and heavy pot. We continued to attack each other until the Kitchen Mistress pulled us apart and gave us extra chores till Midsummer. I don't think either of us minded, even though I had a bit of a bloody nose and Uyne sported a black eye for the next few weeks. But while we were peeling potatoes anytime for the next month, one of us could start humming the taunting melody and the other would grin.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The day before Beltane, I was working-- working on the cleaning, working on the bonfires, and working up the courage to tell Jerin how I felt, with Uyne coaching me in what to say. We had figured every part of the plan out.   
  
"Repeat it to me," Uyne said.   
  
I sighed at her seriousness. "I'll find him before the bonfires are lit, and I'll ask if I can speak to him in private--"  
  
"May! May you speak to him in private!"   
  
I grimaced into the mirror I was standing in front of as I tried different hair styles. "You're ruthless."  
  
I saw her reflection grin behind me, and suddenly I was struck with another day-vision like the one I'd had in the river, with the DreamOlorun's death, except this time, it was Uyne crying. And I saw another woman covered in blood, Jerin knealing at her side, and her begging him for-- something-- and I caught a glance of beautiful, earth-shade brown eyes, pain- and fear-clouded, near death--  
  
"You bet I'm ruthless, Kaela! Especially if it has the chance of you loosing your virginity in it, because that is something you're in dire need of!"   
  
I realized that my vision had lasted only a second, and turned back to her. "Didn't you see it?"   
  
"What? That you're scared of telling this boy that-- Kaela, what's wrong? He's only a boy, you know--"  
  
"No. In the mirror."   
  
"I see you and me, that's all." She looked at me carefully, as though she thought I were either dead or crazy. "Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
I shook my head, trying to remember something, anything, from the day-vision, to prove that it was real.   
  
"Yes," I said, smiling at Uyne. "I'm perfectly fine."   
  
I was anything but.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That afternoon, the priestess who was supposed to be on guard duty for Beltane fell sick. On holy days, almost all the priestesses are free to do as they wish, since everyone is too busy celebrating to be bothered with mere things like solemn duties. The only ones who have to work on holy days are the ones with some sort of duties to perform-- dining with the Twelve Kings at the palace to show respect, carry out the rites, or the one or two priestesses on guard duty.   
  
My luck I was the sole replacement picked.   
  
So, all my friends left to have fun, Uyne promising to bring me something back. I told Uyne rather crabbily that if it wasn't Jerin I didn't want it and she shouldn't bother otherwise. Honestly, the nerve of the Head Guard! Just as I worked up enough courage to tell Jerin I loved him, she had to go and ruin my plans!   
  
I was born under a bad star, I thought miserably as I stood by the gate alone, getting wet from the rain that seemed to fall only on me. It certainly didn't disturb those celebrating half a mile away. Either an unlucky star or the Thief God particularly enjoys tormenting me--  
  
I was knocked from my thoughts by footsteps a little ways off. I brought up my spear at the tall, cloaked figure who approached. "Be thou daughter or son of the Mother above?" I asked in obedience of the laws of the Temple.   
  
"I am female, if that is what you ask, child," the person replied. If it was a she, I though, she's got the deepest voice I've ever heard on a woman. I almost smirked as I thought, Maybe she's half and half. And even as I mocked her, she scared me. Her voice, deep as it was, was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard. It sounded of the woods and baying hounds and storm and a mother's love and a thousand other things I could never name. "I'm a tired traveller seeking shelter from the rain. I have been told that women are always welcome at the Temple of the Goddess...?" Her voice trailed off, suggesting that she thought I wouldn't fufill that duty. I bristled at the implied insult, and said, "Of course, mistress, women are *always* welcome to the Goddess's hospitality. And, if I may say so, this is the greatest of her temples north of the Inland Sea. Follow me, please."   
  
I lead her through the temple proper, and winced as I heard her muddy feet squeak across the floor I'd spent two hours scrubbing that morning. I led her into the kitchen, so she could dry off by the fire.   
  
She pulled a chair in front of the fireplace with a sigh of relief. "Thank you, my daughter. This is the only shelter I've had for the longest time."   
  
Curious, but still trying to show her that I was a member of a very courteous and generous group, I offered, "Mistress, if you're hungry, I could get you something to eat--" I stopped in amazement as she lowered her head. Her hair was long and black, curling around her shoulders like snakes. Pair that with ruby lips, pale skin, and green eyes that seem to look straight into your head and you have a heart-stopping beauty.   
  
"No, Kaela. All that I am looking for I have found right here." She left her chair, her robes suddenly and remarkably dry. I was too shocked to speak.   
  
"How in the name of the Goddess do you know my name?" I asked, wracking my brain to see if I had met her before. I hadn't, I was sure of it. I would have remembered that voice, surely.   
  
"Is it so startling, my daughter? That I should visit one of my priestesses for a time?"   
"Oh, dear Mithros, Mynoss, and Shakith..." I murmered. Oh, this wasn't just blasphemy, this was beyond blasphemy. This was--there wasn't even a word for it. A woman claiming to be the Great Mother! You worship the same gods as I did. You know what the punishment for those who claim such is. You know what you would do if someone came to you claiming to be a god. You wouldn't believe them.  
  
I knew I shouldn't believe her, too. I knew that it was wrong and sin and went against everything I was ever taught. I knew that logically, there was no way she could be the Goddess. And yet, I swear by my soul, the only thing I have left, that I believed her. Somehow, she alone knows how, I knew ion my hear that she was the Great Mother, and she had come to me, and that it wasn't coincidence that I was the only one in the temple that night.   
  
Immediately I fell to my knees, bowing my head to the ground. "Oh, Great Mother, please, forgive me, I--I don't know why I didn't believe you--"  
  
"Quiet, Kaela," she said sternly. I heard her robe rustle like it was made of the howling wind itself (it probably was) and felt what seemed a hand of fiery ice on my cheek, lifting my head up to look into those brilliant green eyes. "I did not come to you tonight be praised and begged forgiveness of. I came because I need your help."  
  
Now *that* was too much. I could swallow her being a goddess, I could believe that she wanted to speak to me, but that *she,* an immortal goddess, great lady over all the universe, would need my help, was just insane.   
  
"I know you don't believe me," she said, taking my wrist and leading me to the table by the fire, "but let me explain, and then answer.  
  
"You know the stories of the gods, do you not? How we keep our sister Uusoae, Chaos herself, imprisoned so that she doesn't destroy the universe?" I nodded. She went on: "Then you know that we can never kill her, our kin, the one rule that Mother Flame and Father Universe set down on us. And you know that it takes much of our strength to contain her, because she is strong. She is strong because mortals are half chaos-stuff themselves by nature, and she feeds off your stupidity." I raised my eyebrows at that. You would think a goddess would have more tact.  
  
"My most sincere apologies for being blunt," she said, though her tone told me that she didn't mean a syllable of it. "As I was saying, she feeds off your stupidity. It's really not your fault, you know, it's more ours for creating you the way we did. But the point is, you humans have been a bit more stupid than usual lately. And she has broken loose. Oh, not entirely," she added at my horrified expression, "but enough that she could destroy the universe if she got her hands on the right pawns."  
  
"Pawns?" I asked, confused.  
  
"Uusoae works through mortals. Her chosen follow her, and do her work in the mortal realms, since she can't. Right now she's not strong enough to break the barrier that our parents put on her. But she will be soon. And now, her armies are massing in your realm. The Three Sorrows, her minions, have broken loose. They run rampant in this world, as I'm sure you know. And the Immortals, as you call them, that we gods put in this world to keep you mortals in check have done nothing but aid her. It was a mistake, but one that we can't change now.   
  
"Your people are proud and too powerful for your own good, with all that talk about being gods, claiming to be more powerful than we. If you were to push the line an inch farther, we would destroy you. But now that power could prove helpful to us."   
  
I looked at her, yet again startled. But I supposed that was how she wanted me to be-- always confused and shocked. "How?" I asked.  
  
She sighed. "Your people have the power to conquer Chaos, something that we gods can't do."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Mother Flame and Father Universe forbid us to directly use the mortal realms as a battle ground. Like Chaos has to work through mortals, so do we."  
  
"But--how are we to fight a goddess?"  
  
She looked at me steadily. "United under the right leader, you could defeat her."   
  
"Does such a person exist?" I asked skeptically.   
  
"Yes," she answered, and with her next words, my life changed for eternity. "She is sitting across from me."   
  
It took a minute for her words to sink in. Then, I stood up and turned away. No, never, never, would I be the one to fight a goddess. I would have to kill. Never, in all eternity, did I want to kill anything. In my rage, a quiet "no" was all I could force past my lips.   
  
"Yes, Kaela," she stood and moved behind me. "You can save humankind, you can defeat Uusoae, you can--"  
  
"I don't care what I can do!" I screamed, turning to face her. "I don't care about saving humankind and the gods and whatever! Mithros, I already gave up my life once! Will you make me die all over again?" Tears of rage stung my eyes, not the sweet, cleansing tears of sadness, but the stinging, salty tears of anger. "I can't kill! I can't! It will kill *me,* and that will make two dead when there could have been none! Why are you tormenting me?"   
  
Her emerald eyes bored into mine. "Because destiny is the one thing you can't escape, my daughter. And her hand is the trickiest of all."   
  
I shook my head, refusing to believe it.   
  
"Child, you can't fight what you are made to be. It was set before at the begining of time that this would be your fate. There is no worth in fighting the ebb and flow of the ocean. It is useless against a force so strong. You would never consider trying. Why do you try to change what you are?"  
  
"I'm not! I'm not a killer! I could never be. Uyne--" I choked. "Uyne is more suited to this than I. She doesn't care about killing, she wanted to be a Knyht. Or Olorun, she'll be a Knyht soon, she could do this better than I ever could--"  
  
"No, they couldn't." She grabbed my shoulders and held on with a grip like iron. "They will grow to be great heroes who will never be forgotten, but you are destined for this. You cannot fight it." She touched the amethyst around my neck. "Did the man who sold you this not say that my hand was on you? He saw it. Your parents sent you to my temple for a reason, and they saw it. Why in the name of all my kin can't you?"   
  
"I don't want this! I don't! I want to marry a merchant and have twelve children and live to be a hundred and five! I don't want to risk my life fighting a for a lost cause!"   
  
"That," she said sharply, "is not for you to decide. If it were, you wouldn't be here now. You'd be married and happy and not having nightmares I had my brother send you every night to prepare you for what's to come!"   
  
I looked at her, into her quietly angry eyes, and I broke down crying. "I've always been a good person," I croaked out between sobs. "I've always been generous to everyone, and I've never begrudged anyone their good fortune, and I've never been selfish. I just wanted to do what made me happy. And I've given up almost all hope of that now. I still think that maybe, maybe someday, I could leave the temple and marry and do what I want. But if I do what you ask of me, then I'll become everything that I hate in others. I'll become a cold-blooded killer. And I would rather kill myself than take another's life. Why do you ask of me what I can never become?"  
  
"Because it is what you are meant to be. Look," she said, and I realized that she held a sword in one hand, and my amethyst--when had she taken that?--in the other. She laid the jewel over the pommel, now without a design, and closed her eyes. I blinked, and when I looked again, the jewel and the sword were one. The Goddess looked back at me. "You are one with this sword now. With it you will take many lives, but in doing so, you will save many more. Keep it close always. I will come to you again soon. Until then--" she touched my cheek-- "have courage, and learn that destiny cannot be fooled. Will of my kin be with you, daughter." And with that, she vanished, leaving me with a sword, tears, and a desperate hatred for the world and everything in it.   
  
Author's Note: Wow. There's the next chapter. A little Valentine's Day treat for all y'all. Sorry it took so long. You see, I have this little problem called PROCRASTINATION. Please pardon the crude jokes, the PAGE rip-off, and the choppiness of this chapter. It's a little shorter than the last one. But a WHOLE lot more important. And, oh, yeah, if any of you happen to be fans of the Rainbow Brite cartoon series, I've got a story going there too. Yeah. I'm gonna go now, cuz I, unlike every other school in the state, have SCHOOL tomorrow. How bad does that suck? I mean, West and City get off for President's day, Valentine's Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and end of tri and conferences, but does Regina? Noooo, cuz we're a CATHOLIC school. The same reason we can't wear shirts with logos or jeans.  
  
Sorry about that. Completely ignore the rant.  
  
-Brad 


	4. Fate's Cunning Hand

I woke up at dawn the next day, and it took me a moment to figure out why, even though the sun was shining and it was a lovely day, I felt like there was a lead weight on my shoulders. Then, of course, I remembered what had happened the night before. And that my necklace, my beautiful necklace, amethyst and copper like humanity and nature together, was now melded with a sword. I almost sobbed at the cruel symbolism of it all. Humanity and nature bound together to kill. And I was to lead them.   
  
  
  
I pushed my head into my pillow, hoping to smother my breath, and die. Rather death than killing. I lost my courage after a few seconds.   
  
  
  
"I am fortune's fool," I muttered in complete despair. This pain was too much. Telling myself that it would look better soon, I forced myself to dress. As I buckled my belt I looked at the sword disapprovingly. It lay on the floor, and to me it seemed to say, I am innocent, I have done nothing, I am as virgin as the fallow ground. And I could hear myself telling it, You may be so now, but in hours, days, who knows, you will be stained with blood and as wanton and crude as Slaughter's claws. You will destroy without knowing what you destroy, and will think naught of it after it is done. Don't try to tell me otherwise.   
  
  
  
No, the sword said innocently. *You* will destroy. I will only be the tool you use, just as a carpenter uses a hammer to build a house.   
  
  
  
"*No!*"   
  
  
  
I grabbed the sword, fully intent on throwing it out the window, or into the fire, or something, when a feeling of just.....*rightness*--I can't describe it otherways---hit me. The sword-- it felt like something that had always been missing, but I had never known about, had been found. Like living a life inside, never seeing the sun, and then going outside on a sunny day realizing that why you've been miserable all these years is because you've never felt its warming rays on your skin. If you've never known that feeling--oh, you've never known true joy, and I pity you.   
  
I was so shocked by it that I looked at it, carefully. Lighter that most swords, it was, though surely strong as the ancient, heavy blade the Guard Mistress used. There was my amethyst on the pommel, and the copper chain holding it in a protective embrace. Something in the blade itself caught my eye. I tilted it in the light a bit, and I saw the Goddess's mark, a mark that is long forgotten in your times, in a bluish sheen under the steel. And every excuse I had, every insane claim to explain that what had happened last night was a dream and, thus, half Chaos-stuff and not real, flew out the window. No one, and I mean *no one,* has a blade with a god mark on it without good reason. And it finally sunk in.  
  
  
  
I had to save the world.   
  
I had to kill.   
  
I had to give up my life, my dreams, my soul maybe, to do something I had no desire to do.   
  
And then I sobbed for lost hopes and fear of what was to come.   
  
The world faded into blury haze, rays of light separated and doubled. I didn't realize then how often in the rest of my life this would be the only thing I would see for hours on end. And I thought about the war that I knew was to come. But I didn't cry for those I knew would die, oh, no. No. I wasn't that thoughtful. I thought only of myself, of the pain *I* would feel, of the impact it would have on *me*....  
  
If I had known then what was to come, I would have dropped to my knees in despair and never gotten back up. And the whole world would have been better for it.   
  
After I had dulled pain's sharp sword with my acid tears, I thought rationally for the first time since the night before. I didn't know what to do. I was not a warrior. I needed a warrior's advice. Uyne wouldn't appreciate being woken up at this ungodly hour, especially after what I *knew* she had been doing the night before. And the priestesses would still be asleep. I could sneak out and be back in time to recieve my punishment for not standing guard the whole night through at breakfast. And so I put on a cloak to hide my face, and headed for the Knyhts' barracks.   
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
I knocked on Olorun's door quietly, trying not to wake anyone but her up. I heard a loud thud, some quiet laughter, and whispers before the door opened a crack and Olorun's face peeked out.   
  
"Kaela!" she whispered urgently. "What in the Eastern Lands are you doing here at this hour?!"   
  
"I need to speak with you, badly," I whispered back.  
  
"This isn't the best time--"  
  
"It's important, really it is," I said as I pushed the door open--  
  
  
  
And closed it again, my cheeks burning bright red, as I saw a man, wearing a loincloth and nothing else, pulling his shirt over his head, and Olorun in nothing but a sheet wrapped under her arms.  
  
  
  
I closed the door and turned away, blushing. *Why* had Olorun never mentioned this? I was her best friend! I had known her since I was five! She and I were inseperable until we were fifteen! That didn't look like nothing, absolutely nothing to me! Never in a thousand years would I have thought that we wouldn't tell each other everything.  
  
  
  
*You didn't tell her about Jerin,* a nasty voice in my head muttered. *You told Uyne but not Olorun.* A few tears leaked from my eyes. Not this, on top of all else...  
  
  
  
The door behind me opened, and I wiped my eyes as the man I had seen at the market months ago, now fully clothed, stepped out. Olorun followed him. I turned my eyes from what I didn't want to see, but I couldn't block the sound, a cold reminder that my best friend and I were being torn apart.   
  
  
  
"When can I see you again?"   
  
"I hope soon, Rayenth, but you know how crazy life is now--"  
  
"I know, and I hate it."  
  
"When I'm a Knyht--"  
  
"That's months away!"   
  
"Only six now! Then.....then we'll have all the time in the world."  
  
"That's all well and good, but between then and now--"  
  
"I'm not sure. If I have any, I'll let you know, I swear."  
  
"I had better go, then. I don't want to keep your....friend....waiting."  
  
"I'll see you, then."   
  
I heard the typical form of good-bye for couples, and turned around as I heard fading footsteps. Olorun was glaring at me, one hand on her hip; the other was occupied trying to keep the sheet from sliding down. "Get in" was all she said, and she came behind me as I meekly followed the order, slamming the door behind her.   
  
"What in the name of Mithros's spear are you doing at my door at dawn the day after Beltane?!"  
  
I was silent, not sure how to start with Olorun so angry at me.   
  
"Well?"  
  
"I--I don't know how to start," I said, my voice small and scared.  
  
"The beginning is good."  
  
I took a deep breath, and said, "Yesterday, the priestess assigned to guard duty fell sick...."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Olorun stared. I couldn't look at her. The look in her eyes, of fear and shock, had been growing throughout the tale, and now that I was done, I didn't think I could handle it.   
  
  
  
"Kaela--this is blasphemy--"  
  
  
  
"I know."  
  
  
  
"It can't be truth--"  
  
  
  
"It is."  
  
  
  
"You can't be--"  
  
  
  
"I am--I think."  
  
  
  
"I don't know what to say, then."  
  
  
  
*Say you believe me,* I thought desperately. *Say it's all right, you'll help me, say you'll let me lean on you, say you still love me.*  
  
  
  
"Kaela--I don't think I can help you."  
  
  
  
And at those words, I began to cry for what felt like the hundreth time since sundown.   
  
  
  
It's odd, how eight words can break your heart, isn't it? When you think of all the human soul can withstand--death, pain beyond imagining, being alone past what we were ever made for-- you see how little it takes to tear us apart.   
  
  
  
And how little it takes to put us back together.   
  
  
  
Strong arms around my shoulders, a small, heart-shaped face pressed against my cheek, and a soft voice whispering, "Shh, darling," and "It'll all be fine, m'love" and I could think again. But for that moment, all I wanted was to let her hold me and tell me that everything would be all right. I didn't realize how much I needed it until then. Humans, even near-gods like my people, are not meant to be alone. And for all those hours since I had learned my fate, I had been alone, so alone....  
  
  
  
After my weeping had abated, Olorun pulled away from me, stood up, and stretched. She looked at me expectantly.   
  
  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
  
  
"The Goddess gave you that sword, didn't she?"  
  
  
  
"Yes....." I motioned with my hand for her to finish her train of thought.  
  
  
  
She took her wooden practice sword off the back of the door and grabbed her own. "Then I bet she meant for you to learn to use it."  
  
  
  
"Your point is?"  
  
  
  
Olorun tossed the wooden sword at me. "That I'm going to teach you. C'mon, let's get to the practice courts."  
  
A/N: Hey, I'm back! It's short and all, but that's the best I can do right now. I'm already neglecting my biology and Parent Ed homework, and if English weren't due till Friday I'd be neglecting that too. So, guess I'll see yall later then. Review, please!  
  
-Brad 


	5. Dying

For the next five months, I lived, loved, and died by that sword-- I lived with it at my side, spent every spare minute learning to use it. Olorun and I practiced together every second we could. Time together was rare, since she was only a few months away from her Ordeal, and spent all her time preparing. And as time went on I didn't like spending time with her as much. She snapped at me for little mistakes, and refused to apologize. I didn't mind, too much. That was how she handled her stress, the way she had since we were little; I was used to it. And she angered so rarely, it was easier to endure, knowing she would be the sweet, loving woman she usally was in just a few months.   
  
  
  
I still obsessed over Jerin. How could I not? Young, handsome, smart, a childhood friend, he was everything I thought I could ever want. And over that time, I managed to convince myself that he was in love with me as well. But it ran darker than that; he was my answer. Slowly, in my dreams, just before I drifted off to sleep, I could tell myself that he would save me from this fate before it became real. I pretended it was a nightmare, and he, shining like the sun itself, would swoop into the darkness and drive the monsters away. I could build him to an illusion of a god, and since I never saw him, there was nothing to condradict it.  
  
  
  
But I could not pretend this life was a dream for long. The crops grew strong and thick off my people's blood that summer. The immortals, those weird, nightmarish creatures previously unknown to the world, were still there, and their numbers were growing rapidly. Tribe leaders from the north saw them as being sent by their enemies' mages to destroy them, and attacked them unceasingly. The prophets saw them as a sign the gods were failing us. The priests saw them as a punishment for the prophet's blasphemy. Skirmishes abounded.  
  
  
  
The bloodshed climaxed on Lughnasadh, in a small village along the already weakened Eastern River. A group of wandering prophets were given shelter from a funnel-storm in the town. A nearby temple of Mithran priests heard about it, and rebuked the village for their hospitality towards the "chaos demons." The villagers started throwing rocks at them, and killed one of the priests. A local lord heard of the heresy, and put the entire village-- man, woman, and child-- to the sword.   
  
  
  
I heard about it at dinner one day, in hushed whispers that circled the tables like the tiny wind before a storm. The senior priestesses at the high table acted as though they knew nothing about it, except for the pained looks on their faces. Uyne had guard duty and wouldn't get in till halfway through dinner, so I was sitting with a group of girls I barely knew. A woman from the next table leaned over to whisper in my neighbor's ear. Her face slowly grew paler, and then she started murmering quickly to the girl on her other side.   
  
  
  
I glanced at the head table, then whispered, "What is it?"  
  
  
  
She relayed the story to me in undertones, the pain in her face clearly visible. As she spoke, a growing lump of fear found its way to my chest. "What village?" I asked as she finished.  
  
  
  
"Dier's Run" was her quiet response.   
  
  
  
I closed my eyes slowly. Uyne's family ran a tavern there. The only tavern, as it were. There was no chance they had gotten out alive. I said a silent prayer for my friend's family as the talk around the room slowly died. I looked up from my plate to see what was happening. Uyne walked in the doorway, smiling, laughing at some joke a fellow priestess had told her. The silence was so loud, it hurt my ears. Who would break the quiet and the news?  
  
  
  
Uyne's eyes scanned the room, frowning, undoubtably wondering about the odd behavior. "Wha--?" The question had barely formed on her lips when one of the head priestesses took her arm and lead her from the room. We waited tensely for a minute, then heard the haunting, undying wail of one who had lost all that mattered to her.   
  
  
  
I couldn't bear it, the look of fake sympathy on the face of the girl next to me, the uncanny hush of the room, the screaming, above all, that banshee sound.....  
  
  
  
I left.  
  
  
  
There was no peace anywhere in the Temple. The walls were already saturated with pain-- with the prayers of women with nothing to gain and everything to lose, the cloud of death that had settled over my people, that sound, above all, resonating through the halls. It pressed down on me, the weight of it shattering my heart, breaking my sanity.   
  
  
  
And this only the pain of one woman. There were thousands of others. The Black God's realm was crowded with innocent souls. And those left behind were worse than dead. Every day there were stories, of a young bride who took her life when her husband died, of a child that starved waiting for his mother to wake up when she was sleeping in Hell, friends who died together in defense of a useless cause.   
  
  
  
Uyne's sobbing took my breath away. Even this day it haunts me. And as years, battles, and lives came and went, I discovered that nothing--not death, not hatred, *nothing*-- scared me as much as that desperate weeping.   
  
  
  
I ran into the herb garden behind the temple, where the priestesses grew the herbs for incense and the kitchen. "Goddess!" I screamed into the empty air. "Come to me, now!"   
  
  
  
"It is unseemly for mortals to command us Great Ones, daughter," a hissing voice said to my left. "You would do well to remember that."  
  
  
  
I spun to face her, rage soaking my skin. "Why are you doing this to us? You gods can do whatever you want, and you're choosing to punish us! *What have we done wrong?*"  
  
  
  
She moved out of the shadows, and I could see the change that had come over her. She was garbed in the beautiful robe of a Southern queen, but her hair--dark and shining the last time I saw her, writhing like snakes-- was dull and hung lank around her shoulders, like rough, black rope. Her face was haggard and drawn, and the shine had left her eyes. Her lips, though, were still red, now the crimson of blood.   
  
  
  
She must have seen the shock in my eyes. "Fighting Chaos leaves us broken," was all she said, as though that were the explaination.   
  
  
  
"Now, daughter, what is it you want of me?"  
  
My temporary pity was gone instantly. "Why are you doing this? To Uyne, of all people! She's one of your most faithful!" Angry tears fell down my cheeks, the salt burning my skin, terrorizing tender flesh. "Why are you doing this to us? Why are you making my people suffer?"   
  
"Don't you *dare* believe that we are the ones doing this to you, mortal." The Goddess's voice was full of rage. "It is not our fault that our sister is trying to destroy us all. And before you say anything else, know that many of your people are aiding her!" Her voice quieted. "Those blood traitors shall suffer in the worst depths of the Black God's realm when this is done."  
  
My people? Helping this monstress? *How?*   
  
  
  
It was silent for several minutes. The full moon shone overhead with a calm, serene light. The night breeze rustled the tree's leaves, as crickets sang a symphony to the stars. Beauty and peace surrounded me.  
  
  
  
Irony runs rampant in the world.   
  
  
  
Minutes, hours, who knew how much time passed as this betrayel sank into my mind?   
  
  
  
*My people are doing this.*  
  
  
  
*They helped this happen.*  
  
*They cause this pain.*  
  
*They are helping this creature destroy the world. They will kill us all.*  
  
  
  
And at that moment, hatred for them overwhelmed my idiotic, self-righteous hatred of murder.   
  
  
  
*I will kill them.*  
  
  
  
*Destroy lest we be destroyed.*  
  
  
  
Any thought of what I might give up-- my innocence, my joy in living, my life itself--didn't cross my mind.   
  
  
  
I dried my tears, straightened my shoulders, and turned to meet my fate with open arms. And thus I died.   
  
*Fallen angels at my feet  
  
Whispered voices at my ear  
  
Death before my eyes,   
  
Lying next to me I fear  
  
She beckons me shall I give in  
  
Upon my end shall I begin  
  
Forsaking all I've fallen for   
  
I rise to meet the end*  
  
A/N: Hey, I'm back. Sorry it's so short. It is, however, pivotal to the plot. I might add to it later. Lyrics from Whisper by Evanesence, off the Fallen CD. 


	6. Why the Angel Cries

"What must I do?" I asked, my voice hard.  
  
  
  
The Goddess smiled, barely. "I knew you would see it eventually."   
  
  
  
"What must I do?" I repeated.  
  
  
  
She was quiet for a moment. She was alert, her eyes open and unfocused, as though she were listening.   
  
  
  
"I can hear your soul dying." If I didn't know that this was what she had called me to become, I would have thought she sounded sad. "This is what you want?" the Goddess asked. Those brilliant green eyes were nearly mournful.  
  
  
  
"No," I answered, oddly calm for the rage that churned inside me. "But it's what we need."  
  
  
  
Her eyebrows rose.   
  
  
  
"The people need a leader. I am that leader."   
  
  
  
She walked over to me, and touched my cheek. My skin burned. "You are destined for great things, daughter. I hope you know that." She looked into my eyes. "You must keep your mind sharp, and be ready for anything. Someday--it could be soon or years from now, I don't know--I will come back to you, and ask you to leave the Temple. You will feel it coming. For now, continue learning to fight. Your friend Uyne will help you. Learn to kill. And, my daughter--" she paused, as though she wasn't sure how to say what she wanted. "Don't let despair overwhelm you. That is how Chaos swallows most of her minions."  
  
  
  
I nodded, and walked away.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dawn saw me in Uyne's room, my arms around her sleeping body. She had cried herself out by the time the sky started to lighten, and now she was finally getting rest. I pushed my hair back away from my face, trying to ignore the pounding headache I got with every restless night. Somehow we had moved from Uyne's cot to sitting against the wall; actually, I was sitting against the wall, Uyne was lying on the floor, her head in my lap. I could see the morning star out the window, for a few moments the equal of the sun, not faded by its brilliance. I smoothed Uyne's dark hair off her strong features, features etched with sorrow even in sleep. Her eyes tightened slightly against the light as the room brightened. Every breath from her mouth made my heart break, knowing that soon she would wake up and face this horrible world again.  
  
  
  
I felt sorrow for her, only her. Her parents deserved what they got. They probably aided the Dark Queen themselves, and most definately they had given shelter to some that helped her. I felt no sympathy for them. A sunset earlier, they would have been unnecessary victims of pointless battle. I would have cried alone for them, simply because they were dead and they didn't have to be. But a cold wind in the night had frozen my heart, and I had no reason to love them, so I was indifferent, if not vengeful, to their fate.   
  
  
  
But they had betrayed their own. They had helped those that would kill for no other reason than to kill. My people were murdering my people, and I felt no sorrow. Only rage, and shame at how far the Reiln had fallen.   
  
  
  
"Oh, Uyne," I murmered as the star faded into the blue, "what have we come to?"  
  
  
  
"How is she?"   
  
  
  
I turned to the doorway. Olorun stood there, her face sleepy.   
  
  
  
Usually, when I saw Olorun, I felt happy and excited. Usually I smiled without even thinking of it. But today, I felt nothing. And I felt nothing about feeling nothing-- no disappointment, no confusion, nothing. It was the oddest, strangest feeling--just an empty hole where I should have felt *something.*  
  
  
  
"She fell asleep about an hour ago. She was crying until then." My voice was emotionless. "What are you doing here?"  
  
  
  
Olorun sat down beside me. "I heard about Uyne last night, from Rayenth. I'm sorry."  
  
  
  
"Why are you saying that to me? I didn't lose anything," I spat. What was wrong with me? I was practically yelling at Olorun for nothing at all.  
  
  
  
She was looking at me strangely now, then at Uyne. She was still asleep. Then, quietly, "I'm sorry I came, Kaela. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help."   
  
  
  
"There's not," I replied bluntly.  
  
  
  
She nodded, that strange look still on her face. "I'll see you around, then." She stood up to go.   
  
  
  
At the door, she turned around. "My ordeal is next month. I was hoping you could come. It will be at Olau, with the other Knyhts-to-be, if we're lucky. Hopefully we won't lose any this year." Detached as I was, I could sense fear in her voice. "Jerin will be there."  
  
  
  
Usually, I felt his name like a jolt to my heart. Usually it conjured images of his face in my mind that I couldn't get out for hours afterwards. Usually I was lost in daydreams until the Head Priestess yelled to get my head out of the clouds. Not today.   
  
  
  
"I'll be there," I said quietly, even though Uyne was coming to. "Maybe I'll see you before then."  
  
  
  
"Maybe." She left.   
  
  
  
Uyne moaned and covered her face with her hand. After a minute she gave up and opened her eyes. She smiled when she saw me. "Kaela," she said, and for a minute I felt happy. "What are you doing here?" Then she remembered, and her face crumpled into tears once more.   
  
  
  
"Shhh, darling, it'll all be fine, m'love," I whispered as I rocked her back and forth, not remembering where those words had come from.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After that day, Uyne went back to her regular duties, though everyone could tell her heart was not in them. She stared into space, didn't pay attention, and was quiet, not her loud and fun self. I spent every moment I could by her side. I even dragged a spare mattress onto the floor of her bedroom, so that when the dreams woke her up at night, she could have someone there with her. And even though she never said thank you, I could see in her eyes that she was more grateful that she could say, and alongside it a darkness that I couldn't place.   
  
  
  
One night, near the end of the eighth month, I woke thrashing on my cot, a horrible dream still imprinted on my mind. I couldn't remember any details of it, just a dark, cold space, and a-- *presense*-- yellow-green and evil and wanting to kill me. It disturbed me so much that I sat in the hard chair by the window, its uncomfort comforting, rather than risk falling into nightmares again. I saw the priests of the Black God walk by in silence, three holding torches and two dragging a cart, on their way to the City to collect a body. The lack of emotion on their face hurt so much I gasped.   
  
  
  
"So unfeeling it's painful," Uyne's voice said behind me, her hand suddenly on my shoulder. I looked back at her, and her face was deathly pale.   
  
  
  
"You think they could show a little sadness at someone dying, don't you think?" she continued, her voice detached. "Show some sorrow for the family, act like they mean those words they say at the funerals. Act a little more like they care." She paused, then, gaining strength from some inner well, continued.  
  
  
  
"You're like them, you know. You don't seem to mean it when you say you wish my family were still alive. You don't care about Jerin anymore, do you? And I heard what you said to Olorun. I don't think I did at the time, but I've been hearing it in my dreams, so much I can tell you exactly what you both said. I can probably guess the looks on your faces." The words flowed from her lips in a torrent river that I doubted would ever stop.   
  
  
  
"What's come over you, Kaela? You never smile anymore. Every new tragedy seemed to break your heart. But now, you just shrug and say that it was inevitable, what's happened to us. You act like they *earned* it. For the Goddess's sake, no one asks to die! No one asks to be left behind!"  
  
  
  
I didn't answer.   
  
  
  
"For love of the Black God, *say* something!"   
  
  
  
"Help me learn to fight," I said quietly.   
  
  
  
"What the bloody sword of Mithros are you talking about!?"  
  
  
  
"Help me learn to fight."  
  
  
  
She glared at me. "Why? So you can kill the ones that deserve it? The ones that you think aren't worthy?" Her eyes, the color of forests, now spoke of flaming holocausts among the trees, her anger lit them so. Her skin was white and damp with sweat, the face of one who is not well. Dark hair fell around her face like snakes, and her eyes were so red she could have been weeping blood. If I had to give a face to rage, even now, I would describe Uyne's features that night.   
  
  
  
I stared back at her, my eyes impassive. It was not the last time I remained emotionless in the face of anger. It may well have been the first. "Uyne," I said quietly, "go to sleep. You aren't well."   
  
Silence pulled her cloak across us. For several minutes I watched her smoldering eyes, and she watched my apathetic face. Even in the darkness I could see the harshness in them fade away. Then she turned back to her bed. I walked back to my cot. I was falling into sleep's arms when I heard her small, scared voice--  
  
  
  
"I don't cry for them anymore, you know. I only cry for you."  
  
  
  
She said nothing else, and I fell into a troubled dream.   
  
Author's Note: I think I'll add to that one later. I'm not really happy with it. But I didn't post for a really long time, and it's getting late and I, sadly, have stupid school that prevents me from writing tomorrow. Grrr. I might start combining chapters, since the beginning is getting longer than I meant it to be. Have you ever noticed that the characters that you don't expect to mean much at the beginning end up being your favorites? Uyne wasn't going to have this big a part, but there you go. Anyway, please review, it makes me so happy! -Brad 


	7. Ordeal

Uyne didn't speak to me again. I went back to my room the next morning, she didn't stop me, and we said not a word to each other for weeks. She was too proud, and I was too cold.

Angry, unfeeling though I was, I would not break my promise to Olorun. On the morning of Samhain day, months after Uyne and I stopped speaking, I found myself starting the half-day ride with other spectators of torment. A few were of the highest class, come to see their sons and daughters lose their lives or gain their honor. Two of the Twelve Kings came, their faces grim. Dressed in my priestesses's attire, I was awarded as high a place as any of the nobles, especially as we left for the most sacred of our cities.

Padmir Olau had been the greatest of our leaders. The legends say that he was a son of Mithros, and I am inclined to believe them. The stories describe him as tall, even for a Reilnai, with dark skin and a presence that shone like the sun. He lead us from the Southern Lands to this northern country, and under his command, the Reiln took all the land between the ocean and the Great Eastern Swamps, the Inland Sea and the northern mountains. We settled ourselves into life here as if we had lived nowhere else. We owed it all to Padmir Olau.

But the fight was not won. Our greatest enemies, the Ysandir, refused to give up their stronghold in the Southern Desert. They would take our children as a blood tithe, they would kidnap our maidens for lust, and we would not stand for it. So, though he had lived longer than the normal span for a man and had not the strength he once had, Padmir led our armies into one last battle against them. It was a long and bloody fight, full of valor and horror, but we triumphed, and we banished the Ysandir from our lands forever. But they were near gods; we could not destroy them. So, the strongest of our mages locked them in their dark city in the south, and some of our people went to the desert to guard them, to ensure that they would not escape, until the Chosen One came to destroy them forever.

Padmir returned to his home, here in the north of the Capital, to live out his last days. To carry on the defense of our land, he began to train young men and women in his skills and code of living. But he was not safe. One of the Ysandir had avoided capture, and he had journeyed to the Olau lands to kill Padmir. The fool thought that if he killed our leader, we would slowly die away, and he could free his kin. Like a coward, he stuck into Padmir's sleeping quarters at night. He stabbed our beloved lord through his belly, but even as he died, Padmir's last thoughts were for his people: as he fell, he yelled with his last breath, "The Reiln will live, and all will submit to their glory or join me in the Peaceful Realms!" His dying cry alerted his companions to the intruder's presence, and young Alycia of Traidond, a swordswoman and a mage, trapped the intruder and cursed him into eternal imprisonment. They placed him in the only secluded spot they could find, a deep tunnel under the armory. Alycia became the greatest of Padmir's companions, who became known as Knyhts.

Since that night, when even the skies wept, would-be Knyhts must prove their strength against the Ysandir, as Alycia did. They descend into the tunnel, fight the deathless monster there, and return with the weapon that will be theirs as a Knyht. If they fail (some do), then, well, he has enough blood to last him for a few more years.

The Knyht hopefuls would be meditating and praying right now, as they had been for the last week. The ordeals would begin this afternoon and continue into the night if necessary. I hoped they wouldn't. The atmosphere of Olau may be comforting during the day, but at night, it frightens me. There is a darkness among the ripe orchards, a sinuous evil that shrouds the stars. But I would not be alone, at least. Uyne had joined me, and though she refused to speak to me, her presence was comforting– to a degree.

I heard a horse come up behind me. Turning my head, I caught sight of green eyes, brown hair, and a merry grin. "Hello, Kaela," Jerin said.

"Jerin." I smiled toothlessly, the best I could do. A bit of movement at the other side of the train caught my eye, and I turned just in time to see Uyne pointedly turn away to ride with an older noble.

Jerin, too, saw the gesture, and if he guessed at the drama beneath it, he didn't show it. His smile remained plastered to his face, and he asked, "Are you well?"

I nodded, and asked how his studies went.

"They go." He shrugged. "It will be years yet before I will be a mage, but I'm learning. But, in truth, Kaela, I want to know how you are." His eyes carefully studied my face. "I spoke to Olorun last week, and she says that you are not yourself, and that Uyne agrees with her. And, Kaela, beloved, you look tired. Are you sure you're well?"

I was silent until he prompted me, "Kaela?" Then, my voice was ice as I cried, "What, are they in cohorts against me now? Is that what they speak of in the markets, that poor Kaela is not herself? I tell you now, Jerin, and you heard it from me, not some loose-tongued palace gossip, that if Kaela is not well, it is because she is not the person she was formerly believed to be!" Completely aware of how nonsensical my argument was, I trotted ahead of him. Unconsciously, I turned around, and noticed that Uyne's leaf-green eyes were locked on me. Chilled, I turned away, and rode alone and thoughtless for the rest of the trip.

---

Once again, I found myself alone with my sword. That had happened very often lately. Many times I was suddenly left to contemplate my bloody fate with no company but silence. Though recently, I had found that silence was not such an awful companion as many believe.

I was still thinking when the door opened. My head spun towards the direction of the sound, and, I noted with dulled surprise, an angry Uyne stood there. Without a word she strode to the second, vacant bed in the room, dumping her bags on it. Still turned away, she informed me, every syllable filled with rage, "Some idiot decided that since we're both priestesses, it would be just fine to stick us in the same room for several days."

I nodded. "Would you like help unpacking?" I asked mildly.

"No, thank you, Kaela. You just concentrate on your keeping your walls up. Or maybe

you don't need to concentrate to shut me out anymore?"

"If you'll recall, Uyne," I replied, my voice rational, "it was you who stopped speaking to me."

"I wouldn't have stopped speaking to you if you hadn't become as cold as a gods-cursed statue!" She whirled to face me, her eyes burning. Her eyes always seemed to burn in my presence any more. "Do you even feel anymore? Do you care that your best friend since childhood might die today? You've made Jerin worry, you've made Olorun worry, and you've made me worry. All because you're suddenly as icy as a pond in winter. Why? What happened that could make you so different, Kaela?" Her voice cracked with emotion. "Do you love us anymore?"

Before, this would have moved me to tears, constant reassurances that of course I loved them, they were dearest to my heart. But now, I felt...silence. And I knew that I could not lie.

I didn't even bother to turn away. I met her gaze steadily as I said, "No." Her already moist eyes filled with tears. Her anger stumbled. This was not what she was expecting. She opened her mouth to speak, but at that moment, a gong sounded, reverberating off the walls and pounding our ears. "The Ordeals are beginning." I turned, took my sword, and left the room, leaving Uyne standing shocked in my wake. It would not be the last time.

---

There were six Ordeals that day. Olorun was third. The first two were uneventful, both the young men emerging weak and frightened, but alive. Olorun, too, did well. A few minutes after she descended into the trap door, she returned, her shirt soaked with sweat, carrying an enormous blackened sword. As she climbed out of the darkness, she stumbled into Rayenth's waiting arms. Apparently unable to contain himself, he covered her face with kisses as she clutched at his shoulders. Though a few of the older nobles looked on with disapproval, most of the witnesses smiled or sighed wistfully at the display. As I looked away from them, I saw that Jerin had fixed his eyes on me. He turned away slowly, his face a question as clear as if he had spoken it out loud. Uyne kept her eyes on the ground. Occasionally she wiped her hand across her eyes, as though she were impatient with the tears she shed.

Two more ordeals passed. The final hopeful came forward just as the sun set, and descended fearfully. We waited in silence for a few minutes; after a quarter of an hour, people began to whisper in worried murmurs.

"He did not look well." Suddenly Jerin was at my shoulder, quietly speaking for my ears alone. "He was coated in sweat, his eyes were wild, and his face looked sickly." He made the sign against evil. "Mithros protect us, but the beast in that hole will feast tonight."

I looked at him through the corners of my eyes. "And we will do nothing." It was not a question.

A shrug. "That's the way, Kaela."

I fixed my eyes on the stairs, a hardening resolve in my chest. This was not fair. The boy was not a born warrior– that failing should not be a death sentence. "Sometimes, the way is not right."

I walked towards the stairs. "Kaela!" Jerin shouted. Uyne looked up, and shock came over her features. I knew what she was thinking: You don't have the training, you can barely stay alive in a practice round, you will ruin his chances, you will shame his family, you don't love your friends and yet you are willing to risk your life for a stranger?

I met her eyes. "He does not deserve death." And with that, I flew down the stairs, into darkness, before anyone could stop me.

---

When I was halfway down they stopped screaming at me. Good, that would get rid of distraction. Darkness and cold choked me, filling my lungs instead of air. As my body grew weaker, I laughed. "Your tricks will not work with me, my enemy." Padmir died by your hands. Your existence is unjustified. You would best prepare to meet your infidel god of death.

I stumbled. Light. There was no light. I could not see. My sword. Shine, my jewel. Light my way.

It did, and it gave me strength. The light warmed my heart and banished the darkness. You are mine, it said, and you are doing right. Reassured, I faced my enemy.

He was tall, his skin pale from centuries out of the sun. His hair was black and tangled, his face gaunt and his wrists slits of bone. His eyes– yellow-green and evil, wanting me to die– glowed ominously in the soft purple light. He held the unconscious boy against his chest, and laughed.

"You are not one of them," he hissed. "You know nothing." His lips cracked in some sort of smile. "Oh, I will eat well tonight."

"You will die tonight," I said, and drew my sword. He dropped the boy and took a sword from the walls. Ancient, it was– it had survived hundreds of years, and would survive hundreds more. Centuries of evil power had filled it and made it strong. But my sword was Goddess-blest, and I had the light on my side.

"Come, little shining one. Come, feed me. Between you and the boy, I will be strong, I will break free, and your people will fall into Chaos. The pain you will be responsible for!"

Since I felt nothing, his taunts didn't disturb me. I smirked at him and lunged. He stepped aside and aimed for my neck. I blocked it just in time and backed away.

"A little shiny one with spunk!" He laughed. "Come again! Make me work– it will make your soul taste sweeter." He attacked, and I parried before I realized that it was a feint. His blade cut into my thigh, and I jumped away, cursing.

"Give up, little one. You're playing with the big children now. You don't have a chance."

I could feel his magic twining around my head, looking for a way in. My walls were useful against this thing: he could not affect me. He was too busy trying to mess with my mind to pay close attention to a little thing like a sword flashing towards his side. I felt flesh give, and he howled in pain. As he screamed, I plunged my sword into his stomach and thrust it up to his heart. And he laughed as he died. He stopped breathing, and his heart no longer beat, but his voice still surrounded me. His rotten magic was still here.

What was left of him laughed again. "Oh, you did nothing here, little shiny. I am still here. A Gods-blest sword will not destroy me. The spells around me keep me here– even though I am dead. My spirit will never leave, and the Reiln will forever feel my anger!"

I turned towards the boy, still unconscious. I was not strong, but he was small, and I could take him. On a whim, I grabbed the creature's sword, and took it, the boy, and my blade to the steps.

"You know, little shining one, you will join me here someday! Those walls in your brain won't hold forever! Someone will break you, and you will fail, and I will wait for you here– always here– wait for you to trade your walls for these!"

I ignored him, and climbed the stairs.

---

I heaved the boy and the swords onto the old armory floor and pulled myself up after them, only to have someone take my arms and pull me out. Uyne. Jerin took me round the waist and lifted me clear of the stairs. The boy was rushed away by his family. The swords remained on the ground.

Jerin looked at me and sighed. "You, Kaela, just _cannot_ stay clear of disastrous situations." His eyes rolled heavenward, and his hand shook as he brushed my hair from my face. The clammy look of his skin told me that I had frightened him, though his voice was nonchalant. "Gods help us when you get loose from that temple. Come on now, to bed with you." He stooped and lifted me up, and I couldn't help crying out when he brushed my thigh.

Uyne was at my side in an instant. Her voice cut through the pain to reprimand me. "Holy Mother, Kaela, what did you _do_?" I looked down. The shallow cut had become a rancid, sickly green abscess. "Jerin, get her to her bed. I'll find a healer." She shook her head. "I never know what to do with you, Kaela! Sometimes you make me– ugh!" She walked away in disgust.

The crowd parted to let Jerin and me through. I was too tired to care that everyone was staring. I just stared back. When we reached the castle, Jerin said, quietly, "She really was worried about you, you know. The way you just took off like that. We all were." He sighed, again, and started up the stairs to the guest rooms.

"Third corridor on the left," I murmured, letting my head roll back onto his chest.

"I do wonder, Kaela," Jerin began, "I do wonder what made you change so. I wonder what happened to the little mouse that I wanted to marry."

"She's left. The mouse has left the house." I giggled. Oh, I was being completely inane.

"Then I wonder what corner of your mind she's hiding in. This door?" I looked up briefly and nodded. He opened the door and kicked the packs off my cot, laying me down. "Rest here. I'll stay until Uyne brings the healer." He paused thoughtfully. "She's a good woman, your Uyne. She truly cares about you, Kaela. She was frantic when you plunged down those steps."

"I couldn't tell." I sat up carefully.

"That's because you are oblivious to everything these days. If you weren't, you would have noticed how worried your friends are." He turned my face to his, gently. "What has happened, Kaela? Olorun knows, I see it in her face. But she swears that she would not betray your trust. Do you not trust me?"

I rolled away from his touch, which once would have made my heart beat as hard as a smith's hammer. "I cannot trust anymore."

"Why? It has to do with Dier's Run, doesn't it? It was the next morning that Olorun came to me weeping, crying that you didn't love her anymore. You told Uyne that you didn't love any of us. What have we done?"

"You?" I laughed shortly, without mirth. "You are Reilnai. You are one of the people that I am destined to protect, even though you aid the Queen of Chaos that seeks to destroy us. Isn't that strange? I hate all of you, and yet I need to love you enough to fight and kill and die for you. So I feel nothing. It's easier that way. I don't hate myself anymore. I'm resigned. I don't even mind killing." I shifted. "I killed that monster down there. I did. And it did no good– he's still there. If I were still your little mouse, Jerin, I would not have been able to do it. And even if I did, I would sob because I had killed him and it had done no good. It really is much easier this way."

I looked into his eyes and saw his sadness. "Kaela– what have you done?"

"I have submitted to my fate. The Goddess spoke to me, Jerin. On Beltane. It's ironic, because I was going to find you and tell you that I loved you that night. But I couldn't go to the fires, I had to guard the temple."

"I know; I looked for you there. I asked Uyne what happened to you."

"That night," I continued, ignoring him, "the Goddess came to me." Of course he didn't bother to hide his shock. "I am not lying, Jerin. And no, before you ask, I wasn't smoking poppy brick. She told me that Chaos is fighting the gods' rule and that she needs me to lead the Reiln against her agents here in the Mortal Realms. She told me that she would come for me, and that I would have to lead our people."

He didn't say anything, but, unlike when I confessed to Olorun, I didn't care. "I'm not lying."

"I know you aren't, Kaela." He sighed, letting his head fall into his hands. "You're going to need help."

"Yes."

"You have Olorun already, that'll help you with the Knyhts, and as a priestess, the Kings may trust your word, but you'll need a voice with the mages."

"I suppose I will."

"Then, mistress," he said, bowing in his chair, "count my voice as yours."

I looked at him curiously. "You won't fight me? You'll help me?"

"Only an idiot would ignore the signs, Kaela, and though I may be a blockhead–" he grinned– "I am no idiot. The Sorrows run, the stars glow, and you, of all people, kill a monster that has plagued us for generations. Obviously the world is being turned on its head."

He glanced at the door, frowning. "Now, where is that healer? And Olorun should have run up here by now, her new beau in tow, to slap you around a bit. I should go find them." He stood and walked to the door.

"Wait, Jerin," I said. He stopped and turned back to me. "You don't hate me? You aren't scared of me?"

He laughed. "Of course I'm scared of you, Kaela. I just choose not to show it. And, my dear little disease-spreading rodent, I could never hate you." He bowed with a flourish and left. I was dreaming of evil presences and Chaos on the loose in an instant.

---

I woke late that night when my leg stopped throbbing. It was cold– the shutter had been left open. For a few seconds I debated whether I would rather sleep and freeze to death or risk my thigh aching again. I chose the pain.

I stumbled across the floor, half-asleep, until I tripped over something sprawled on the ground. I cried out as I fell to the floor, and whatever was on the ground gave a snort and groaned a curse. Immediately someone whispered, "What was that?"

"Shh. You'll wake her."

"But what if someone came in?"

"Fine, light the damn candle, Uyne, just don't blame me when she wakes."

A soft glow filled the room, and Uyne, still her in priestess uniform, cried, "Kaela!" and made her way to my side. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I was cold," I mumbled.

"I knew I was forgetting something," Olorun muttered, moving to shut the offending window.

"What happened to you?" Uyne asked, helping me stand. "Oh! Rayenth, you boulder! Wake up!"

"Would you pipe down?" Jerin moaned from a corner. "Some of us are tired."

"Quiet, magic boy!" the shape I'd tripped over growled.

"Stop it, both of you!" Olorun told them both. "It's far too early to be fighting. We should be asleep, especially you, Kaela." She turned to me with a reproving glare. "Rayenth, you chose the most inconvenient place to sprawl those limbs of yours!"

"I wouldn't've had to if you'd let me sleep with you."

"You love birds can just leave it for the morning. Wait until the sun's up, at least. Have some courtesy for the rest of us. Or just go to a nice, secluded clearing on the ride back tomorrow. As long as you let me sleep!"

"Jerin!"

"What is everyone doing here?" I asked, more than a little confused.

"The healer said someone should be here in case you woke," Uyne said. "Jerin volunteered–"

"But I thought he would fall asleep." Olorun added. "So I said I'd stay with him–"

"And I didn't want to leave Olorun," Rayenth said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "And Uyne said that it's her room anyway, so–"

"So we all stayed," Jerin finished. "The healer came a few hours ago. He said he's never seen anything like your leg. He says that you should be careful about walking on it for a few days."

"He said that whatever cut you contaminated all the flesh around the wound. He had to bleed you and cut the pus out," Olorun said.

"Thank you, Olorun, for that far too graphic description," Uyne snapped, tucking the blankets around my shoulders. Though her voice was brisk, her hands were gentle, and she smoothed my hair before turning.

"And on that happy thought," Jerin said, "let us go back to sleep. We can discuss wounds and swords in the morning, and we're all tired. Uyne, will you need the light to get back to your cot?"

"No, blow it out, Jerin. I'll be fine." She checked the blankets once more, then whispered, "If you need anything, call. We'll be here." She kissed my forehead, and I could feel the heat in her cheeks. "I'm glad you're alive, Kaela. And if you're still cold in the morning, we'll think of a way to thaw you out. Just don't leave us again."

She went back to her bed, and soon Rayenth was snoring again. Though my body ached with exhaustion, I lay awake a bit yet. And in the dark and cold, I found some bit of solace in the fact that out of all of the Reiln, there were four who were loyal and loving, and that they would never leave me.

---

Author's Note: My, it's been a while! Hello, and thank you for reading.

Well, my dears, summer has come around. I have a job, but I don't have twenty zillion things to do, as usual (though I do have nightmares that I'm forgetting to do something...), and I have time to write for the first time in, goodness, literally years. So, to old readers, I'm very sorry, and to new readers, welcome!

I do have several other stories in the works, but this and my other "published" story will have priority. So I hope you enjoy the start of the action. Thank you again, and sorry for the inexcusable wait!


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